throbbing light machine

hey I hope this drive-by reply isn't too weird, I remembered LJ existed (yes LJ) and saw this.

Basically I wanted to add my input as someone who's been unshaven for the better part of nine years. Okay so, it's a cosmetic decision, it's your body, and you should experiment and have fun with it. Over the last two years I've been occasionally removing hair, and will likely do so some this year. This has everything to do with me wanting to experiment with my looks and not feel trapped in one fashion statement and nothing to do with conforming to standards of beauty expectations blah blah.

I originally stopped removing hair for seven years straight because it occurred to me that I was afraid of judgement from other people. And considering it was my own body, my own hair, that felt invasive to me, as though I was being owned collectively by others. I didn't like that fear at all, I didn't like thinking about others when I made decisions about my body, and I was curious what my own hair looked like, since I had started removing it early in my teens and hadn't seen it fully grown and mature. After growing it, I was determined to continue to not be afraid, and not treat it like some dirty secret. (My mom was no help with this, constantly telling me to hide it and that people would be prejudiced against it.) I went out in the world, exposed it during summer, exposed it at work, exposed it on job interviews, modeled nude at art centers, didn't hide it when I had relationships and sex, and generally felt like a normal person and like my body hair was pretty irrelevant. I lost that fear and self-consciousness and that worry what people would think of me, and realized most people are too busy with their own shit to worry about MY body.

For the record, my body hair is quite dark and thick, it is noticeable.

I've been thinking about lightening this year for my arms and just removing the hair on my legs. I might leave the armpits hairy, who knows. At this point I have the knowledge that I'm not afraid of anyone and no one treats me differently in a way that I care about. I want to express myself through fashion and also I'm sick of the idea that body hair makes you morally superior or more feminist or something, since I think it limits women to yet another narrow standard and tells them the "right" thing to do with their bodies. We have enough contradictory messages, so I say do what makes you happy.

Here, I'd examine your reasons. Self-consciousness doesn't sound like it's for you, it sounds like it's for other people. You aren't obligated to overcome that, and you're entitled to choose short-term safety, always. But if it were me, I'd want to overcome that fear for myself, because in my own personal experience, it was the fear of others that made me feel less safe and assured in my body and felt like it decreased my quality of life. Which means I would go unbleached and display it proudly at least for a few months, until I felt the fear was conquered, and then bleach or shave or do whatever I liked with it because now it's mine forever. I guess it's also, think about how you'd feel while doing the bleaching (since you'd have to do it fairly often for roots too), would it make you feel good, like expressing yourself the way you want to through your body and practicing self-care, or would it make you feel ashamed, like you're negotiating a compromise or small sacrifice to make yourself acceptable to others? If it's the former, do it do it and have fun! If it's the latter, think about if you're getting what you want out of it.

Sorry if this long answer is weird. @____@ I've been on tumblr, hi.