state of the me
Oct. 10th, 2020 12:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lotesseAn Update:
All still safe, all still here. Working on staying sane.
I've been doing big backyard earthworks, pulling up evergreen shrubs and putting in raised cedar box garden beds. Built a tall stone firepit, as well. I feel like I haven't had enough exercise over the summer, not being able to swim regularly at the lake.
A & B are also hanging in there. B and I have fallen into a fairly easy introvert routine during the day; I wish he was more of an emotionally open youngster and we could make friends more frankly, but he lets me in on his silly plots and connivances, and I know that counts as acceptance. I think he's doing well enough with school; it can be hard to get him to tell us about it, but A checks his grades online and it seems like he's mostly on-track.
It feels very hard to plan at all for the future right now, bc everything could change so much so soon. If Joe Biden takes the presidency, things could get better. We might be able to afford college for B. We might be able to revisit our own career ambitions, or think about moving, or having a baby of our own. If Trump's re-elected, I think we're going to need to make concrete plans for survival, and hang on to every potential advantage, and stay very conservative with any new risks or outlays.
When I was going through my divorce two years ago, my dad told me to keep things in day-tight compartments, like water-tight compartments under a great steamship. So we've been doing that, and will likely continue to do so, until it's clear whether we're going to move forward in hope or fear.
Reading The Chronicles of Prydain out loud with A, finding some footholds for sanity in the familiar cadence and overall decency of Alexander's prose.
We're enjoying Lovecraft Country tremendously; it's intense and p. triggering, but I find myself yearning for the weekly catharsis.
I'm very disturbed to note that one of the people arrested in Michigan for the attempted kidnapping plot against Whitmer comes from the small back-of-beyond town where I'd been living, right before I left; no one I know, but still far too close to home.
All still safe, all still here. Working on staying sane.
I've been doing big backyard earthworks, pulling up evergreen shrubs and putting in raised cedar box garden beds. Built a tall stone firepit, as well. I feel like I haven't had enough exercise over the summer, not being able to swim regularly at the lake.
A & B are also hanging in there. B and I have fallen into a fairly easy introvert routine during the day; I wish he was more of an emotionally open youngster and we could make friends more frankly, but he lets me in on his silly plots and connivances, and I know that counts as acceptance. I think he's doing well enough with school; it can be hard to get him to tell us about it, but A checks his grades online and it seems like he's mostly on-track.
It feels very hard to plan at all for the future right now, bc everything could change so much so soon. If Joe Biden takes the presidency, things could get better. We might be able to afford college for B. We might be able to revisit our own career ambitions, or think about moving, or having a baby of our own. If Trump's re-elected, I think we're going to need to make concrete plans for survival, and hang on to every potential advantage, and stay very conservative with any new risks or outlays.
When I was going through my divorce two years ago, my dad told me to keep things in day-tight compartments, like water-tight compartments under a great steamship. So we've been doing that, and will likely continue to do so, until it's clear whether we're going to move forward in hope or fear.
Reading The Chronicles of Prydain out loud with A, finding some footholds for sanity in the familiar cadence and overall decency of Alexander's prose.
We're enjoying Lovecraft Country tremendously; it's intense and p. triggering, but I find myself yearning for the weekly catharsis.
I'm very disturbed to note that one of the people arrested in Michigan for the attempted kidnapping plot against Whitmer comes from the small back-of-beyond town where I'd been living, right before I left; no one I know, but still far too close to home.